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10 Insults to Make You Laugh

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  • Tip Bones

I truly hate that feeling of looking back on a conversation, usually hours, days, or years later, and thinking of the perfect one liner. Quipping can be great fun, but inspiration never seems to strike at the right time. We could all use a little bit of help, and nobody is better than hindsight at crafting an insult.

Check out some of the following, and feel free to add your own below!

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off."

"I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you."

"If I gave you a penny for your thoughts, I'd get change."

"I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person."

"Some day you'll go far... and I hope you stay there."

"If you're going to be two-faced, make sure at least one of them is pretty."

"I've been given worse insults by better people."

"You abuse the privilege of ignorance."

"No need to repeat yourself... I ignored you perfectly well the first time."