For more than 70 years the rock-solid, time - tested advice in this book has carried thousands of now-famous people up the ladder of success in their business and personal lives. Whether you are a student, employee, boss, leader, politician, teacher, salesman, or businessman. The book is for your behavioral transformation. I have divided the summary into 3 parts. Let's begin with the first part of the book " How to win friends and influence people ".
Don't Criticize, Condemn, Or Complain.
" If you want to gather honey don't kick over the beehive. ”
Put another way, criticizing or condemning people is absolutely useless since all it does is put the other person on the defensive.
Carnegie urges us all to do our best to never condemn, instead, we should attempt to understand why people are as they are.
If you are going to miss the initial part of a movie because your friend is late, don't criticize immediately. Instead, genuinely try to understand his inability to come on time.
Never give negative feedback when someone shares a new idea with you, even if you don't like the idea. Just share his excitement. Ask more questions about the idea and help him arrive at a holistic conclusion with the pros and cons of the idea.
Give Honest And Sincere Appreciation.
There's really only one way to make someone do something with a happy heart. The best way to make someone want to do something is to appreciate that person.
This praise must be authentic and from the heart. If it's not, this so-called secret will do nothing but harm. Also, praise should be specific and not general.
When an author sends me a book to read, instead of saying “ I liked the book, it's great! " I praise a specific chapter or an idea from the book. E.g. “ The 2nd principle of your book was the best of all. I loved the idea of ‘ Done is better than perfect. I was fascinated by the perfection syndrome. Not anymore. Your book opened my eyes! " Again, this praise and encouragement must be from the heart ... otherwise, you'll just look like a fraud.
Maintain A ' You ' Attitude
Think about things from other people's perspectives. In other words, we need to put the other person's wants before our own. See things from that person's angle as well as from your own.
When Farid (the backbone of Booklet) comes to Booklet House at 9:30 a.m., I used to jump into discussing the daily tasks and to-dos.
After learning this principle, I kept myself in Farid's shoes and realized that if I (as Farid) who commutes 5 railway stations to reach Booklet House, how would I expect Amrut to greet me? I got the answer. I now ask Farid, " So, how was your Sunday? Or Did you have your favorite biryani you were expecting from Ammi last night? "
Become Genuinely Interested in Other People.
You can be more popular in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Now, I'm sure you all know folks who love to talk about themselves and, honestly, care less about you. I also think it's safe to assume these people aren't your favorite folks to be around. Always greet people with enthusiasm. You should also say hello to people in a way that shows you're actually interested and excited to talk with them. This advice is especially important for anyone teaching or training others. Even if I am not a great lover of trekking, if I meet a trekking enthusiast, I ask him all about forts and his adventurous experiences to genuinely get interested in his interest.
Actions speak louder than words and one of the most powerful actions anyone can make is to smile. A smile says, “ I like you. You make me happy. I'm glad to see you. " Do our very best to really smile ... and not just make an insincere grin. Even if you don't feel like smiling, you should force yourself to smile. Act as if you were already happy, and that will tend to actually make you happy, or at least make you happier. According to psychologist William James, “ Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together ” Another interesting point is how important it is to smile when you're talking to people on the phone. We sound much pleasant on the phone with a smile on the face.
Why “ What do you do for a living? " is not a good question to ask when you meet someone for the first time. To know this, see you in the next part. Till then, happy reading and happy having a YOU attitude.
Part-II link below: