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  • Tip Bones

Ever wish you could go back to one of those old Nintendo (NES) gaming consoles and push reset on your life? Not? Lucky you.

To the rest of you readers who can relate, think about why you would like to do that in the first place, then consider what you would do differently.

Yes, we all have regrets, and yes, we would all love to wipe them completely from the existence of our reality.

Unfortunately, unless anyone reading this has developed a time machine (if so please contact me as soon as possible) we're pretty much stuck with those regrets.

It sucks, doesn't it? Don't worry, I feel you, why do you think I'm writing this? The reality, however, is we can't change anything about yesterday, let alone the last 10 or more years.

So what's the point you may be asking, well, it ties in with the arrival at the final phase of the stages of grief, acceptance.

We have no power or ability to influence past events, sorry often doesn't cut it for others. The important thing for you as an individual is to still express regret if you have wronged someone, and if you didn't and it's just a flat out personal regret, both remedies are the same.

Start by forgiving yourself. "Hurt people hurt people." That is the truth. Self-loathing kind of makes you feel hurt, so the proceeding outcome will be that you find someone you can hurt. So at some point, you'll have to let go of the guilt.

Here's the thing about guilt, guilt is necessary for conviction, a conviction is necessary for grace, and grace is necessary for change. We, however, never camp at our guilt, it becomes like a black hole that slowly consumes us piece by piece.

So, my dear reader, I regret to inform you that you have no access to a reset button, nor are there any time machines that I am aware of. That leaves you and me with the task of processing what we've done, but also letting go of what we've done by forgiving ourselves.

That is the start of your journey towards healing. It's not an easy path, but it's a path worth taking unless that black hole scenario sounds more appealing to you.

Written by Dwain Donovan Stewart